Looking Back

 Tonight I met with my pastoral couple.  We sat in my living room, drinking tea, to discuss forgiveness.  This wasn't a theological discussion or even a theoretical one, rather we were contemplating the logistics and wisdom of my forgiving an "enemy" who has shown very little remorse.  The interesting part of this is that if asked even a month ago about me offering her forgiveness, I would have very quickly and forcefully rejected the notion.  In fact on Sunday when this idea first popped into my head, I scoffed.  But after some interesting conversations I decided that this was worth pursuing.  So tonight we talked and planned.  I'm scared. I don't know if this couple will meet with us, I don't know what will happen if they do.  I don't know what will happen if they don't meet with us.  But I'm so grateful to have moved this far along, to have healed even this little tiny bit to be willing to offer forgiveness first. I think I'm slightly crazy, but then again isn't that what grace is about?