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I hurt today; my head, my stomach and a sore spot on my foot. My aches leave me tender, vulnerable, open to stronger reactions than normal. Because like a dog with a sore paw, when provoked I responded harsher than typical. My children are also sick, all three of them home today. They don't seem to understand how miserable their Mama feels, so they whine and bicker until I respond. Too harshly.
But their little hearts are tender too. And a mama's angry words, no matter why they come, can lodge deeply in a small soul and fester. I feel torn, guilt-pain adding to physical misery. Why can't my kids be kind to me? Why can't I respond better to them? Finishing my rant, I apologize, confessing my sin of anger to them, asking for their forgiveness. They extend undeserved grace to me, offering hugs and kind words.
And I am left tender, the good kind now, my heart moved by the compassion and grace extended to me, a sinner.
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Beautiful post Grace :). I blew up at my kids today too. Tried to do a fun new craft, then they decided to disobey multiple times. But whatever the reason, I got outraged. Tired of repeating myself and exploded. Then I said "Mommy is mad because.... but I should not have acted that way. Please forgive me" With hugs and kisses, they did. Just like that. Made me wonder, why can't I forgive like that? And then, they went on with their daily activity. Forgetting and forgiving. Aren't children such a blessing? We can learn from them in so many ways.
ReplyDeletePraying for healing and rest for you, weary mama.
So lovely. Tenderness and grace work hand in hand, don't they?
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