Friday, March 11, 2011

Practicing Grace

 I had to practice grace today. I didn't want to.

My day was filled with plans, the things that I would do to earn the label productive.  Oh, I had plans.  But fulfilling those plans just wasn't going to happen today.  It started off with walking the children to school.  My neighbour and I have been sharing that responsibility.  He really enjoys walking them to school.  I feel guilty though when I let him.  It's about striking a balance, always a hard job.  Today I wanted to walk them.  Upon coming downstairs, I discovered that the previous day's puddles were now covered with snow, turning them into epic slush piles.  Slogging through slush with a baby on my back while carrying a cake is hard going.  But I was determined to do it.  Until my neighbour knocked on the door and I wasn't ready and my knee hurt and...I caved.  Kissed my children, thought a prayer over them and passed the cake over to my neighbour with instructions on which teacher to give it to.  I felt guilty...but also relieved.

 That was the beginning of a day of compromise.  Some chores like grocery shopping, picking up the kids and making dinner happened.  I modified cleaning the rest of the bathroom(just did the mirrors today)  and completely scrapped cleaning the kitchen.  But I added in playing video games with my boy. That earns me bonus points, right?  Through all the changing plans, I kept having to have grace towards myself.  It was hard, until my parents came over and my dad immediately asked if I was running a fever and told me to take some tylenol.  Then I didn't feel so bad.

 Today wasn't exactly unusual for me.  I often have to compromise my productivity because of pain or fatigue or sickness. Having Lenten goals complicates matters and yet, if I hit the mark every single day, would the cross mean as much?  If I could do it on my own, would I need grace?  Yes, I need to strive in all areas of my life, especially regarding housekeeping, but I need grace more than gold stars, more than coffee. I hope that tomorrow will be a more productive day, that my knee finally heals.  But more than that, I hope that in whatever befalls I find grace, both to give and to keep.


  1. I love the honesty written here. I beg you to find peace in receiving kindness. It blesses the giver. I hope I say this clearly, make your Thank You be unblemished with guilt. Open your hands and accept the grace, the gift, the LOVE. To every thing, there is a season... Ecc. 3:1a

  2. Grace,

    I think you've really captured the essence of Lent.

    Because isn't Lent a chance to push ourselves to do or to abstain from something difficult? Isn't it about recognizing our brokenness without God?

    If we could do Lent "perfectly", we wouldn't need God.

    So, in a way, the times when you aren't able to check everything off your list for the day, it's a chance to remember how much we all need God's grace, His mercy, His patience. His salvation.

    Praying that you continue to find strength to do what you can, and grace to know when you can't.

    Love and prayers,

  3. "if I hit the mark every single day, would the cross mean as much?" oh so true. Thank you for your continued prayers. You are in mine, as well.