Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Breaking the Darkness

  The darkness came with waking yesterday.  I went to sleep filled with joy and determination but then as I roused from slumber, darkness slipped in.  Normally the opposite occurs, dark thoughts at evening and happiness rising with the sunshine.  But not yesterday.  I sunk deeper, refusing to eat, and then deeper still. I flung myself on the bed, covered my face with my pillow and refused to communicate.  Even after he snatched the pillow away, still I lay there staring at the ceiling.  No words, no eye contact, just me lying there silent.  He prayed. I wanted to pray, but the words were stuck.  The darkness locked me inside, stole me away.

 The phone rang and I began to speak a little, but only angry, hostile words.  Not the ones that rang inside my head.  Inside, my voice pleaded "Pray for me, love! I think I'm under spiritual attack."  But all that came out was "It doesn't matter.  I don't matter."  He couldn't hear the voice inside, but he knew.  Somehow he knew to pray and so he did.  I got out of bed, still being hostile, angry, defiant, hurting.  We were headed towards a big fight.  Then the doorbell rang.

 He ran downstairs and I heard him greet whomever it was cheerfully, "Hello Stranger!"  Who could it be, I wondered?  Certainly he wouldn't greet his mother that way and we weren't expecting anyone else. Sullenly I asked who it was.  He answered "T".  With his words, the dark spell broke.  I don't know how or why, but the chains fell away and I could be me again.  A great big smile took over my face as I welcomed her in and offered breakfast.  We laughed and joked, as peace and joy reigned again in my home. He made us breakfast(egg in a hole), overjoyed to cook for his wife who had been stubbornly determined not to eat.  When he finished cooking, we fellowshipped together over eggs, toast and coffee.
I was okay again.

 I can't say with certainty why the darkness came, or even why T's presence broke the spell or how she came to be at my door just then.  But I have my suspicions.  Once again, I am reminded of the power of prayer, the direction of the Holy Spirit and this crazy, overwhelming love of the Father.

 Joining with Em for Imperfect Prose today.  Oh the blessings of those husbands who pray for us and never ever give up.


  1. smiles.glad you came through that one...and nothing is random...coming out of a very dark period myself...prayer does work...

  2. God is so good! It's bewildering how quickly darkness comes on strong, so glad God answered prayer and broke through!

  3. smiling & celebrating the victory with you :)

    "But I have my suspicions. Once again, I am reminded of the power of prayer, the direction of the Holy Spirit and this crazy, overwhelming love of the Father."
    amen :)

  4. oh, this is so lovely!!! and the miracle of husbands who love us when we can't love ourselves, and pray for us when we have only inside-our-head-voices...... GRACE!!!!!
    i love this for and with you!

  5. Thank God for the prayers of a sweet husband.

  6. we're so weak, aren't we? grace is so strong.

  7. who is this T? i want to know her :) God knows what we need. he is so good. his goodness shines in you.