The speech that my brain keeps writing and rewriting within the confines of my skull is not full of condemnation or angry words. Neither is it soft and fluffy, words that seek to soothe a soul regardless of right or wrong. But what I want to say isn't easy either. I've been meditating and praying, for months maybe even years now and this is what keeps bubbling up. But I hold my tongue.
She is a very dear friend, one who would speak hard words in love to me. This is the type of friend I long for. I know she values this as well. Fear holds me silent. I keep meaning to go over, but I'm busy or sick or it's cold outside and so I hold my tongue. Why cannot I just speak? Is it not yet time or am I disobeying? Questions bubble up inside, bothering me.
The words I have to speak aren't urgent, just offering a different point of view, one more in line with Scripture than with culture. So I will wait prayerfully for the right time and then, with much love and gentleness, I will speak. I hope.
Joining with Emily and the rest tonight:
i have a couple of rare friends who will speak truth (tempered with grace), and though it's often hard to hear, i treasure their perspective. i'm guessing your friend feels much the same about you.
ReplyDeleteYou will know when the timing is right. I have a friend in a similar place and I still haven't felt like it was the right time. Just pray about it, He will tell you when.
ReplyDeletethis is hard...you describe where I have been...always seeking to pull the plank out of my own before looking at the speck in another and to pray/intercede ask for that delicate combination that He would use to transform...I just want you to know it is hard and that I pray right now for a very clear indication when the time is right and that you will be open and respond...thanks for your honesty...God is at work:)
ReplyDeleteI agree with CM, I think if you ask God to give you the moment and the courage and the words, He will.
ReplyDeleteTo speak the truth in love is what I long for. To speak it and to have it spoken to me in that way. You are wise to wait on the Lord.
ReplyDeleteDo not beat yourself up over your lingering. Somehow we know when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a fine line between it not being the right time and 'you' not wanting it to be.
ReplyDeleteI stew at times like these, but He always shows me the right moment and the stewing feeling is different, because I KNOW I must say it. You need to quit beating your head against a wall and release it all to Him. You'll hear Him better then. Been there--it can be tough. But it's such a privelege to be used like that by God.
yeah CM nailed it...i think we all need those friends...and perhaps that is what gets me to speak...
ReplyDeleteYou're obviously listening as the Holy Spirit speaks, and I'm certain you, too, will be obedient as the Holy Spirit guides. He will prepare your friend's heart (and yours) when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteA friend who speaks truth in love is a rare gift. She is lucky--so lucky--to have you...
ReplyDeletei'm so glad you wait, for God, because it can be painful when the timing isn't right... yet when it is right, and the spirit nudges you forward, go with courage, sister, and speak his truth. love you.
ReplyDeleteOh I so don't like being in that place!! I hope you find the right moment, seize it, find the right words, and then feel peace as soon as it's over.
ReplyDeleteThese conversations take courage, don't they? May you find that courage--and the words--when the time is right.
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