It's hard not to wake up grumpy when your day begins with a little boy yelling for his father impatiently. We are trying to teach our five year old how to call for his parents using a nice voice. We are not having much success. Today was a particularly trying day for us as our much beloved former pastor was in town and we weren't able to see him. He and his family were at a special farewell celebration at our church. However, we are temporarily not attending our church. We allowed our older children to attend with their grandparents because they have really missed their friends. But it was hard to send them off and then drive to a different church. I miss walking to church.
Sundays tend to be bad for me. This past year attending church was painful and stressful. Typically a Sunday afternoon involved me crying while spending a lot of time disengaged. Now Sundays are painful because we're not at our church. But while in my funk today, I decided to catch up on my 100+ blog posts waiting for me in google reader. Near the bottom were my Stuff Christians Like posts. The twelfth post down was on leaving the church. It's an extremely satirical take on what not to do, but what we might feel like doing while leaving the church. It hit close to home. Not that I've done any of the behaviours listed, just that I've thought about it. Seriously, facebook offers up a lot of temptation to be mean! Then I read the comments. Let's just say I no longer feel quite so alone. Although it was sad to find so many others deeply wounded by the church, it was helpful to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. By the way, check out SCL. Jon Acuff is hysterical!
There were lots of good things today. Although we ran into difficulty at one point, we had a good evening with our children. When I lost my temper with Aris, she forgave me. My mother-in-love held me for a very long time this afternoon. My mother called to say that she loves me and is praying for me. I read some funny blogs, some thoughtful blogs and some beautiful blogs. I was able to give Veronica a hug and pray for her before she leaves tomorrow. Unfortunately I won't be going with her as no one has left a large sum of money in my mailbox. She actually called to ask me that this morning. :) It's been a tough day, but one with definite glimmers of hope and joy. Suddenly this mommy isn't quite so grumpy anymore. :)