Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Turn to the West

 It's been several days of stormy weather here, both inside and out.  Soul gloom and outside rain do not a good combination make.  Driving home discouraged yesterday from an appointment that left my counsellor concerned, I looked to the west.

 There, pink clouds floated against a storm blue sky.  Ahead was rain, clouds and more rain.  I kept glancing to my left, hoping to catch more of these unusual clouds, but they had disappeared.  My view was filled with only gloom, matching the despair inside.  I went the wrong way, going home instead of where my children were.  Frustration welled up inside, the storm clouds raining down reminders of mistakes upon failures. I salvaged my mistake, figuring out a shortcut that didn't require so much backtracking or going completely out of the way.  But my driving matched the darkness inside and out as I stopped caring, feeling overwhelmed by the rain and hopelessness.

 Then I turned to the west again. The pink fairy clouds were no where to be seen.  Instead, a brillant golden glow shone at the bottom of a mass of storm clouds.  It was just a wedge, a long triangle of brillance shining out against the darkness.  And deep inside the light started returning.

 I wish I could say that it all turned around then.  But I went down a hill and the glimpse of glory disappeared.  The rest of the day was mundane, the darkness still clinging to my soul even as the rain came down outside.  Then I woke today to a clear sky.  High winds scoured our area, shaking it up and driving away the gloom.  Clearly, the winds blew in my heart too for today I had hope.   Sharing tea, cookies, then a meal and coffee with a friend and my lovely mother-in-law later continued the work, this little visit striking a deep contrast against the dark clouds in my life.  I continue hopeful, waiting for this promise of glory to burst into beautiful fruition. Somehow, somewhere this storm will pass and the daylight will shine again.  So I'll keep looking to the west, waiting for those glimpses of glory until it comes in full.

I'm joining again with Emily today:


  1. keep looking, we get glimpses at times and others it seems we have to travel a ways...i can relate tot he storms though...ahd the rain is here now...inside and out...

  2. keep hoping,
    at times, good things happen from bad ones.
    when one door is closed, another door opens.
    beautiful prose.

  3. Joy comes in the morning and He being so faithful is faithful to lift the gloom as well. In His time. Hang on tight to Him and His Word. He will reveal wonderful things to you about His love for you and His plans for you that will lift you up.

    Followed here from Imperfect Prose.


  4. Yes keep looking and cling to it. Sometimes it's so hard, but He is faithful!

  5. You live your name, Grace. *He* just keeps writing it in you, and *you* just keep writing it for us. You bless.

  6. grace... beauty rises within you... your honesty gives him such glory... don't give up sister. he is doing such good work in you. (and thank you, for the kindness of your note, and for posting those photos on FB... how you encourage me. xo)

  7. i long to say been there done that but i know how trite that sounds. i mean i KNOW how pat and unhelpful that is. my last week was a cloudy week within and out and i just hurt to feel ok again. i'm better this week, but i still have clouds lingering (mostly inside) and my counselor tells me to consider medicine (she knows i won't). i do want to echo those above--honesty is where glory is. we love him by being honest even in the dark, and i'm so happy you shared your words here today. they will break, and you'll see gold again in teh sky. hugs and prayers.

  8. I guess we were both thinking about the light and glory of skies this week. I'm glad your darkness lifted, a bit. I, too, understand how quickly we can descend into the pit, reaching up for a glimpse of that light we so long for. Praying for you as I write this, that light will win. That grace will abound. That you will find His rest in the midst of it all.

  9. I can relate. This week was not my favorite. But I keep thinking, "consider it joy" (James 1)and I research joy, and pursue joy, and practice thanks. And it helps. Praying the sun comes out for you. :)