Monday, March 1, 2010

Not a Clue

Today's title sums it up perfectly. I don't have a clue as to what to write, and I don't know what to make for the potluck lunch tomorrow. Normally, I would have been mulling this possibility over, but for some reason my brain didn't retain the word "potluck" before "lunch" in the evite. Similarly, I have been mulling over what to write most of the day, but I still don't have a clue. There are too many words and themes jumbling around in my head, almost forming a coherent thought before getting tossed around again.

One of today's thoughts has been about extravagant grace. Over the last several years, I have started to really live out the meaning of my name. This is not an easy calling to put it mildly, but I am so blessed by able to share the grace that I have been showered with. Recently, I've had it brought to my attention that I'm not being extravagant with my grace. I've started being stingy and frugal, only wanting to share if I thought the other person deserved it. Between a conversation at LifeGroup yesterday and a blogpost today, I'm realizing how short I fall. Grace isn't about whether or not we deserve it. Forgiveness doesn't come only once we've jumped through the proper hoops. Rather, they are both there free for the taking, one only needs to ask.

I want to show extravagant grace, grace that overflows freely, splashing all around me. I don't want to hold onto anger, bitterness and hurt; forgiving only when I feel the time is right. These thoughts are hard and complicated. My head complains bitterly about the lack of justice, especially in comparison to how I sometimes feel I'm treated. Then a soft voice reminds me of the Cross and how much I have been forgiven. I am thankful for the grace, forgiveness and mercy that were and are lavished on me. I see evidence of that all around me, especially today. We had an amazing day with Aris with very few behavioural issues. I am so thankful! Her changed behaviour isn't because of my fabulous parenting skills, but rather because we both are being Fathered and showered with His grace. And as His grace is manifested in my life, so I want it in turn to spill over into the lives of others.

Now that the thoughts in my head are making sense, I must figure out what to make for the lunch. Chocolate Chip Apple Cake sounds good, but I'm really not sure. Perhaps we'll just grab some good crackers, cheese and dips. Or maybe I'll go look at my cookbook some more before deciding. :)

1 comment:

  1. grace... let's pray for this for each other, this grace... i too want to know it. to love so much it hurts. bless you for your big heart. emily.